standing on the edge of summer

i always loved the title of thursday's song. "betting on our own lives, making up for all the time we lost." driving home from dc today, i felt exactly that way. and i felt like i was standing on the edge of the most important summer of my life. every summer seems that way, but i really feel it this time. i've felt like the weight of the world has been on me the past week and this weekend showed me that it's not. i try not to write too many blogs that are specifically about my life, like a journal entry, but this is what's on my mind tonight. there are a series of events approaching that are going to make-or-break the coming months, or maybe even years.

there are two particularly influential things i'm looking forward to this summer. the first of these is suncrest, i'll come back to that. the second of these will be a trip to seattle to visit my friends, jenn and ron. this is where my spiritual journey will lead me. i wanted to take a trip somewhere by myself this summer and this is where i've been led. i just had a pretty plan/stress free trip to dc and i look forward to an even less structured trip to the pacific northwest. seattle is a city i want to scout out for a potential move, but also a place so far away from what i'm used to that it will allow me to clear my mind and refresh before grad school starts a week later. i look forward to just walking around the city by myself, as if i lived there, with no agenda and nothing to do but enjoy my surroundings. i also look forward to spending time with a couple of good friends only a month after they marry and reunite as they've been living apart (jenn in seattle, ron in pittsburgh) since august. seeing them starting a new life together in a new city (for ron at least) will be exciting for someone like me to see. someone who doesn't live there, but has considered it. but mostly i look forward to being in an uncomfortable place with nothing to do but enjoy my surroundings.

and then there's suncrest. a funny thing happened on my way to being a youth minister... i got sick of church. not only that, i stopped reading the Bible in any consistent fashion. i got burned out, didn't want to lead anything anymore, and just needed time away from the previously intense practice of faith that i was exhibiting. so it's been a while since anything regarding church has made me interested, let alone excited. i'm not counseling, nor should i be. i'm in no state to lead. my faith is still there, and i still practice what i preach, but i just don't have the energy to sit in a cabin with kids and tell them about Jesus. on the other hand, i'm playing drums and i cannot wait. playing music at suncrest has been a dream of mine since i started playing drums a few summers ago. on top of that, ron is leading worship for his last summer at camp and i am beyond thrilled to be a part of it. ron played guitar and was a counselor when i was in high school, so it's an honor to share the stage with him every evening this year.

but most importantly, suncrest is about the services. God works in amazing ways at that camp, at meals, on the basketball court, in the cabins, but especially in the tabernacle. the Word of God is shared and we sing songs joyously in praise of a loving and forgiving God. there have been times in the past week or so that i will think about a particular song we'll be playing and i literally get chills and my heart starts racing because i'm so excited to be playing for camp. knowing that i will hear the voices of kids who have come to the right place to find what they're looking for, knowing that i will see them in front of me with their arms stretched to the sky and their hearts searching for Christ, that's what i need. that's what brought me to my faith and that's what's going to bring me back.

so here i am, standing on the edge of summer. an unbelievable weekend in dc behind me (meeting the avetts, pens winning the cup, spending time with some of my best friends), and my life ahead of me. i see big changes coming soon. i see a job and i see a move back to the city. i see myself finding something i've been looking for when i go to seattle, but most importantly i see what could be my last suncrest event being the most important i've ever had. i know God has been doing things in my life and i feel a culmination coming soon. but most importantly i know that there are many days beyond this summer. i suppose today is just the first day of the rest of my life.