Tuesday, December 1, 2009


without connection, we would die. we hear studies about how babies who aren't held and loved tend to not develop the same as babies who are. this makes a lot of sense. my parents cared so much for me as a baby and as a child. and now my sister and brother are doing the same for their children. and i hope to do the same for mine. this simple act can go a long way in helping someone develop as a human.

i think the same remains true as we get older. i wrote a few months ago about disconnection, so some of those ideas might overflow here, but it's something i've considered more again.

there's nothing like feeling a connection with someone. i literally feel chills when i have a breakthrough in a relationship with someone, like the first time a conversation at work progresses past our dislike for waiting tables, or the first time i hold a girl's hand. it makes me feel like we can see each other as more than just co-workers or more than just friends. i think it makes sense to say that a major goal in our lives is to create these connections between ourselves and others. 95% of all people marry, so right there is the goal of finding a mate with whom we make a unique connection.

justin vernon spent three months secluded in his father's northwestern wisconsin cabin after battling with mono and breaking up with a band and a girl. he wrote the majority of the album "for emma, forever ago" by his band bon iver in that time. ray lamontagne did a similar thing in a cabin in maine. these things fascinate me because it makes me feel like they'd come back to civilization with a newfound respect or understanding of being connected with people. i consider the possibility of doing just this, although i doubt it will happen, not necessarily to write an album but moreso to rewrite my life. going through a fasting of any sort will give you a new vision of how that thing effects your life.

for similar reasons i must have time to myself every day. this is usually at the end of the day before i go to bed. this is time for me to do whatever i want, which usually involves listening to music. even when i am by myself, i am making a connection with someone else. i'm connecting with justin vernon, scott avett, or andrew mcmahon, as they sing their words into my ear. i write in my journal words that may be shared with others in the future, or may simply be shared with a future version of myself. i'm writing this blog to connect with you. i play guitar or drums in hopes of connecting with future band members. over the past year and a half i have spent more time by myself than i have in a long time, but even while i'm by myself i am constantly doing things to connect with people. as i've gotten older i think i've just found new ways to make these connections.

most importantly, i am constantly connecting with God. He hears all of my thoughts. He caters to all of my needs. He gives me all the words to write in my journal, in my blog, or in my songs. i like to believe that when God sees us connecting with one another he gets that same chill that i get. furthermore, i hope that when God sees me sharing His love with others that he gets an even bigger chill. i know i do.

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