A Tree in a Story About a Forest

I love these little ten-minute blog posts. I rarely plan to write my favorite blogs. They are the ones that just happen. What's more, they're usually the ones I write in a short amount of time on the spot.

Donald Miller is my favorite writer. His latest book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, is the definition of a must-read. He encourages people to live stories worth talking about. The experiences he describes are real. He's a real guy living an average life but wanting more, just like all of us. Sure, he's writing books that sell a lot of copies and make him sort of famous in different circles, but at the end of the day he wakes up, works, enjoys friends, and goes to bed, just like the rest of us. His relatability makes him an author worth reading over and over because his simple, yet profound, thoughts can resonate with average people like me.

My favorite chapter of any book is "A Tree in a Story About a Forest" from this book. In this chapter, Miller talks about a gentleman named Victor Frankl who helped people to avoid suicide in concentration camps during World War II. He would illegally give these people hope and keep them alive. During a dark time in his life, Miller felt Frankl whispering to him that he was a tree in a story about a forest and that he had a bigger purpose than his own goals and aspirations.

After talking so much about living a better story and having adventures and experiences worth talking about, Miller brings it all back and reminds us that throughout these stories we must remember that we are not the center of attention, which is the complete opposite of what American society tells us. In the movies, we are the actor pursuing the dream job or the dream girl or the dream home or the dream family with two kids, a dog, and a white picket fence.

In life, that's not the story. The story is Jesus. We are characters in the story of Jesus. We are carriers of Jesus to people in this world. We are broken people who have been saved by Jesus' dying to conquer sin. Our brokenness is fixed by Jesus. We are nothing but arrogant for believing that we have anything to do with our lives being saved. We are arrogant if we think that our stories are more important than His.

Autumn Weekends, or, It's Hard Being a Pitt Fan

My sister just had her first article for the Post-Gazette published this morning! It's about growing up as a die-hard Pitt fan, which is not terribly common. You can read the article here:

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/11295/1183853-109.stm

This article about autumnal Pitt gamedays reminds me of my own youth; growing up 12-16 years behind my siblings, yet still raised as a Pitt fan. When Sue was in college and I was progressing through elementary school, they sucked. It was not fun to walk into school and talk to my friends who were Penn State fans about that weekends games. Penn State usually won, Pitt usually lost, and that was about it.

I vividly remember the days I would be running around the backyard playing football when I'd get called in for the second half of the Pitt games. I remember trying to go to games against Temple or Rutgers because those were the only games Pitt might win. One of my favorite memories was Halloween Thursday night, 1996, when I came home from trick-or-treating to find the best treat of the night: Pitt on ESPN! They beat Boston College that night for their third win in a four-win season. That same season, my brother took a trip to the Horseshoe at Ohio State to see the Buckeyes trounce Pitt 72-0.

I also remember the rise. Pitt had been bad the whole time I'd been a fan growing, so when a bowl game became a real possibility in 1997, it was something to talk about. After starting 2-1, Pitt upset the once-mighty Miami Hurricanes on Thursday night ESPN, resulting in some torn-down goalposts at Pitt Stadium, if I remember correctly. That season they needed two overtimes to beat Rutgers and two wins against perennial powers, Virginia Tech and West Virginia, to become bowl-eligible. They upset the Hokies, then turned around and upset West Virginia in a three-overtime game that I remember vividly. WVU kicked a field goal in the third overtime. Pete Gonzalez converted a 4th-and-17 to Jake Hofart keep the drive alive before another 4th down conversion to Terry Murphy for the win and bowl-eligibility.

Since then, it's been an up-and-down ride filled with higher expectations. A win in the last game at Pitt Stadium against hated rival Notre Dame, a blocked field goal attempt by LaVar Arrington to preserve a loss at Penn State, Walt Harris' Wide Receiver U putting players into the upper echelon of the NCAA and into the NFL, beating rival Penn State, 12-0, in their last meeting, Pitt garnering national attention, and ultimate under-performance by teams we expected more from over the years.

My memory has blurred a bit since my childhood. I've seen so many games on TV and in-person as a student that I am starting to forget details. I remember seeing some amazing things in person, like most of Larry Fitzgerald's catches, QB Tyler Palko (my favorite Pitt player of all time) running over a Boston College safety, and, of course, Aliquippa alumnus Darrelle Revis' silly punt return against West Virginia. Most importantly, I remember the day Pitt kept West Virginia out of the national championship game in a fluke win at my least favorite place in the world Mountaineer Field.

At the end of the day, sports are sports. They're nothing more and nothing less. Everything was magnified when I was a child, so I remember those events like they happened yesterday. I look forward to the day that I'm raising my kids in Pittsburgh, playing football in the backyard until it's time to come in for kickoff. I miss Pittsburgh today for that reason and for the reason that people honestly care about their sports in the Steel City.

No offense, Seattle, but your sports fans are lame and flaky. Watch your Huskies today, but know that you wouldn't care if they were 3-4 like my Panthers. Hail to Pitt!

Band Obsessions

Working in an office gives me a chance to listen to music all day, which is certainly amazing for someone who loves music like I do! There have definitely been days where I've been in moods when I feel like I'm bored with my music selection and I need some new stuff (which I usually indulge in at that point), but lately there have been a few albums or artists that have been able to simply captivate beyond the need for anything else. Let me mention a few of them here:

Fall Out Boy - Take This To Your Grave: These boys have a way of playing their way into my sub conscience and not getting out. They are probably the catchiest band I listen to and Patrick Stump's voice has a way of captivating my attention that few other singers can do. Take This To Your Grave was their first big hit and is one of my favorite albums of all time. It is pop-punk mastery. I loved listening to these guys on my way through their hometown of Chicago on my cross-country trip. Their follow-up album, From Under the Cork Tree is another one of my all-time favorites and is full of catchy anthems. Their last release, Folie a Deux, is one of the most underrated albums of the last 5 years, in my opinion, with plenty of diversity and a few cool cameos (Pharrell, Lil Wayne).



Bon Iver - Bon Iver: In short, this is the best album of 2011. There will not be an album that is better. If there is, I will pee my pants. I did not think there was a chance Bon Iver could follow-up their first release, For Emma, Forever Ago, with anything better, but they reinvented their sound and released a completely different album that is simply beautiful. Every track is stunning. I have a couple favorites, but I rarely repeat songs because each song prepares your spirit for the next. It just makes sense to listen straight through. In particular, though, I have been obsessed with this Bonnie Raitt cover from a little CD of extras, "I Can't Make You Love Me/Nick of Time"

The Tallest Man on Earth - Everything: Kristian Matsson is The Tallest Man on Earth, but isn't particularly imposing in stature. Instead, he's fairly meek and humble. He is one man with no other musicians involved. He is Swedish, but manipulates and utilizes the English language. Most importantly, he controls you. There is something incredibly endearing about him, despite the fact that he doesn't talk much, move around much, or really do anything much to particularly entertain you. He simple plays beautiful music with such emotion and obvious spirit in his voice that you can't help but be under his spell.




Taking Back Sunday - Tell All Your Friends: This is the quintessential teen angst album, which I didn't actually own until I was firmly inserted in my mid-20s. Regardless, this album is full of anger, frustration, and I-don't-give-a-what mentality that it fits any disgruntled mood you might have. Can't find any motivation? Tell All Your Friends? Girls being a pain? Tell All Your Friends. Missed the bus? Tell All Your Friends. It was amazing to see most of these songs performed by the original lineup on their tour this summer. What's more, take a look at videos from 2011 and then take a look at 2002, when the album was first released. The maturity has changed this band quite a bit. The emotion is still there, just in a different form, and with a microphone swinging swagger.



Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend: The most unlikely addition to any music list of mine, I could not figure out people's affinity with Vampire Weekend for years. The songs were odd, cheeky, and not particularly interesting to me. Then one day, it just hit me. Everything was sticking in my head. I wanted to learn every word to every song. I'd listen to the album straight through, then I'd want to listen to it again. The songwriting sounds simple, but is full of changes in time signature and demeanor. The lyrics are intelligent and full of one-liners. I think what did it was "Oxford Comma", thanks to "who cares about details" mentality and its use of the most taboo word in the English language.

100th Post

This is my 100th blog post. Initially I wanted to type "I can't believe it" or "I remember my first post like it was yesterday", but the fact is that it seems like an appropriate amount of time. Lots has changed since November 2008. I've grown immensely and in ways that I didn't expect, but in a lot of ways that I did expect. I would say that I can't believe where I'm at, working and living in Tacoma, WA, but I can believe it. It's been a natural progression. I've had to prove a lot of things to myself by getting here, like the fact that I would actually pick up and leave Pittsburgh.

Since that post three years ago I've written about getting back to the city, falling in love with the Northwest, working through graduate school, and working through a difficult job search. The things I've learned along the way have not been surprising. Patience and humility were certainly virtues that I did not possess remotely when this blog started. I haven't developed these virtues nearly as much as I'd like to, but I've grown a lot. 

I was extremely impatient on a micro and macro scale three years ago. I was short with people when I waited tables. I was rude to my parents and others when I would get upset about having to live at home. I was especially impatient with God's plan to get me into my next life stage. I think I knew that God would take care of me, but I didn't want to wait for it.

I was extremely arrogant about feeling like I should have a "real job" just because I had a Bachelor's degree, which I'm learning more and more was an extremely prideful and foolish stance. Just having a Bachelor, especially in a field like History, doesn't guarantee anything. I did have a salaried job in youth ministry, but God showed me that was the wrong direction. Waiting tables for a living is extremely humbling as you offer selfless service to people in hopes that they'll offer compensation for your work. Sometimes they would take care of you and sometimes they wouldn't. In the end, I learned to rely on God's provisions to carry me as far as I needed to go. I even had a chance to share my faith with co-workers who noticed my relaxed attitude with regard to making money. I never expected that people would learn about patience from me.

God got me to where I needed to be on his timetable. I learned what it means to be humble, patient, and rely on God as my provider. I'm still learning, for sure, but things seem clearer now. The last month has shown me so much about relying on God for safety and company. It's been very lonely here at times compared to my life in Pittsburgh, but God has provided people in His time and He has shown me to rely on Him in times of need rather than other people.

Thank you for reading, for whatever reason! I look forward to continuing to share my journey with you in the next hundred posts, however long that takes. God finds ways to show Himself to me every day, so I look forward to sharing my experiences with you and hearing the same from you.

Failure and Success

If there is just one single solitary thing that I've learned in my life, it's that every single time I try to do something on my own and without God, I fail. Every single time I seek God, I succeed. Success may not look like what I expect it to, but it is success nonetheless.

When the Story Ends

Moving to the Northwest has been a dream of mine, for any of you who have not been following my blog the last few years. It has been the goal for so long. It's been a dream I've had in my head since I first visited Seattle two years ago. This summer's job search gave me the opportunity to move here as I'd been hoping for. The dream would be realized. Pack up the necessities in Marie Antoinette and hit the road heading west until the road ran out.

So I did it.

Now what?

That's been the question. I've been reading through my favorite book again, "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Don Miller. In one of the chapters, Don mentions the idea that we rarely think about: what happens to the characters when the story is over? We all know about John Cusack holding the stereo in the girl's yard, or Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan on the top of the Empire State Building, or Rudy making those unlikely tackles in his first-and-only playing time for Notre Dame. But what happens next? People don't live happily ever after because there is always a new goal, a new challenge, a new endeavor to navigate. I'm starting to learn what it really means for this to be the start of a new chapter rather than the end of a story.

This move has been the toughest thing I've ever done. Some days I wake up with debilitating homesickness that makes it difficult to function normally and enjoy my day. Some days I don't, though, and I thank God for those days. Things will get better, but for now I'm still just handling the homesickness day-to-day.

The most difficult part of this move has absolutely been finding community. It's not that I'm struggling to meet people or find places where community is, but it's just that I'm struggling with not having any support system in place here for me to rely on as I venture out for new places to call home. I don't have that one go-to friend to talk to about everything. I'm still finding ways to get my emotions out and feel refreshed. It's been a real struggle to lay in bed at times and process my thoughts by myself because sometimes it's hard to talk to anyone about them, even if they know what I'm going through.

Things are getting better, though. This weekend I spent time with some people who made me feel like they are genuinely happy to have me here. I do have a need to feel appreciated and I think the last 48 hours have made me feel that way consistently for the first time since I left Pittsburgh.

This is a journey. The past month has been an amazing journey that I'll never forget. Yesterday was a journey. Today is a journey. Tomorrow is a journey. Every day we learn new things about ourselves and others. Each day we get more comfortable than the last. One day soon Tacoma will start to feel a bit like home. 

No matter when that is, I know that I need to take advantage of the opportunities I have while I'm here. I want to go to shows weekly. I want (need) to start a band and play a shows around the Sea-Tac area. I may even want to live in Seattle for a year before my time here is done. Until then, though, I am living in Tacoma, finding community, and filling the voids that have been left from my move. I'm also creating new experiences that would not happen in Pittsburgh.

At the end of the day, God has placed me as a tree in a story about a forest. The story is ongoing and purposeful. There is a reason for me to be in Tacoma right now and it doesn't have as much to do with me as I'd like it to. I'm just a tree in a story about a forest.

Day 7 - Tacoma

Well, that's it!  I'm here.  I've made it to Tacoma in one piece thanks to Marie Antoinette.  It's late now, I'm tired, and I start work in the morning, so tonight may be more brief than I was hoping.

I woke up this morning next to Gonzaga University in Spokane.  I woke up pretty early since I'm still physically on Eastern Standard Time, so I rode my bike around campus.  Every time I was reading to turn back, I decided to go a little further and it paid off every time.  Their basketball arena, the McCarthy Athletic Center, was beautiful. There was a bridge crossing over to some dorms that provided the most amazing view of Gonzaga across the lake.  Then I rode around on a trail around this lake, providing more breathtaking views.  I thought the campus was fine last night when I rode around (catching a few minutes of Back to the Future on the lawn en route), but I'm sure glad that I experienced the beauty of Gonzaga this morning because it was a spectacular campus.

It'd be beating a dead horse to tell you about how amazing this trip was or how beautiful this country is.  Every day was better than the last as far as scenery has gone.  South Dakota was amazing, Wyoming was even more amazing, Montana seemed second-to-none, then I hit a brief/unbelievable stretch of Idaho, followed by the incredible contrast of Washington.  Desert, desert, desert, mountains.

I was wondering how things could get any better once I got to Spokane and had just experienced Idaho, but I forgot about the water!  Oh, the water.  I randomly decided to stop at one of these "scenic overlooks" today, which was probably the best thing I've done on this trip.  The Columbia River came out of nowhere to be what seemed like simply beneath me at one point.  I snapped a few simple pictures of its unreal beauty, then descended to a bridge that came down so far that I could have touched the water if I'd have reached over the railing.  Seriously, the only comparison is a National Geographic.

Now, the hard part.  I'm here, I'm settled, and tomorrow starts work.  Now I have to start over.  I sure do miss all of you back home, but I can't think about you much because it'll only make things hard.  I'm a sensitive, emotional, nostalgic person, so the last thing I want to do as I start this next chapter is to worry about who is not here.  All I can consider is what's ahead of me; my new chapter.  I look forward to developing relationships with my roommates and co-workers as well as finding a new church home.  I look forward to this challenge, but know that I love and miss you all in PA!