Spirit-Led Blogging

There were a lot of Awesome Things coming from our weekend in Portland visiting Tim and Lauren. A bagpiper riding a unicycle. A Hispanic folk band doing a photo shoot in the middle of a busy crosswalk. A stretch Geo Metro. If you've been to Portland, you know the list goes on.

But the One Awesome Thing came in my inbox last night. I've been writing this blog for 5 years this summer and it's never been about anything in particular; just random thoughts I've had about the world around me. I left one career (youth ministry) to pursue another (higher education management), which led me from home (Pittsburgh) to where I am today (Tacoma, WA). Despite the seemingly disconnected subject matter, one thing has been consistent; my faith in Jesus Christ.

Writing from the perspective of a twentysomething Christian has helped to engage in some conversations, but mostly with my friend, Meg. We worked together in high school, were friends outside of work for a while, and had lost touch until she started reading my blogs when they'd occasionally pop up. She contacted me to talk about being a twentysomething recovering from "church" (like many of us are), and the conversations have gone from there.

Meg recently made a Spirit-led decision with her life to relocate and wanted to share that with me. I couldn't be more thankful to know that the truths I've shared about who God is have resonated and helped Meg to explore and learn who God is on her own.

I often think about things to write about with the purpose of tooting the horn of my own opinions, but the Tim Keller sermon that Aly and I listened to in the car yesterday reminded us that the Gospel is about the blood of Christ and not our own interpretation, denomination, or philosophy. I'm thankful that I can look back at most of my writing and know that the Spirit and the blood of Christ have been in the marrow of my writing. When Meg reads anything that is good, she's reading the words of the Spirit written with my fingers. That's Awesome.

When Someone Else Makes Plans For You

I had started to write a couple different blogs yesterday then stopped. They weren't appropriate and were too prideful in nature, talking about things I like but with the context of things I don't like. That's not the point! This is!

We're going to Vashon Island tonight to belatedly celebrate Aly's birthday. Her best friend's family has a cabin on (near?) the Sound, so it sounds like it's going to be a great time.

One of my favorite parts of this excursion? I haven't made any of the plans! If you look at my desk, you might think I'm a pretty solid "P" on the MBTI, but I lean more into the "J" category simply because I like to make sure my ducks are all in a row before letting myself relax. That especially goes for making plans to do FUN things! I like to be in charge of what sort of fun is happening, where, and when, so I tend to insert myself into the planning role.

Not this time, though. I have very little idea what sort of entertainment even exists on Vashon, so I haven't bothered to so much as make a suggestion. I knew we'd have to get there via ferry and that we'd leave today and come back tomorrow, but nothing else. Tell me where to be and what to bring. It'll be a great time celebrating Aly!

Our lives can be lived this way every day. God has a plan, which means that any plan I make can just be thrown out the window, anyways. I constantly have to remind myself that I'm here for a reason. There are plenty of good things about living here (Aly, Michelle from the Club, this beautiful summer), so it's easy to remember why I'm so far from my familiar territory. I know that living in Pittsburgh or anywhere else would not be as ideal as I romanticize, so it's good to remember that and constantly think about the good things in my life.

God's plan may not always feel good, right, and perfect; but it is! All the time. Everywhere.

Following the Spirit

Sometimes life comes at a million miles an hour. Where you are today is not where you were a year ago, a month ago, or even yesterday. Your plate was empty last week but it is certainly full today and you don't think you can handle it. Desperation sets in and you want to shut down, pack your bag, and head to the wilderness for a while until people forget that you exist and have to maintain responsibilities. What your selfish flesh once wanted has now been dumped in your lap all at once and you should be happy, but you are confused and don't know how to make decisions anymore.

Weren't these good things that you wanted? Attention, opportunities, responsibilities? Your selfish desires have resulted in an overwhelming scenario that you can't handle. What's worse, you haven't been provided the OTHER good things that you also wanted. "Why now?" you wonder. And, "how do I get those other things like money or time, because they will surely make this journey simpler?"

It's times like these when God has given us what we need, not what we want, and we must seek the Holy Spirit to guide us through. When we feel overwhelmed, it's because we are trying to accomplish things on our own and not relying on the Spirit to carry us through. We cannot complete anything on our own. God is the only one who can. When we seek the Spirit, things get completed, our selfish desires seem less important, and the Lord is served in ways that we couldn't think of serving on our own. So today, take a moment to seek God in the confusion and chaos. He's provided these things because He wants us to seek his guidance in using them for His glory.

Control

Today I woke up late for worship practice before church. I felt pretty bad when I realized that I hadn't set an alarm at all in my haste the previous night. I returned home late and knew I'd be running on six hours of sleep and a few cups of coffee to get me through the morning. I quickly gathered my things, threw on the clothes from the previous night, and rolled in to practice about 45 minutes late. We ran through the songs we'd done on Thursday, got our bearings under us, and played pretty well at the services, considering.

When I awoke to see that I'd risen an hour later than planned, I realized I had lost control. When that realization was made, I had no option but to move forward given the circumstances. I made a mistake and had no way to make up for it. What was done was done. I couldn't go back in time. No use crying over spilled milk. I was upset that I had let down my bandmates by showing up late, but the icing on the cake was really that I had lost control. I wanted to be in charge of the timing of my day, but instead was thrown a curveball by my own unattentiveness.

As humans, we crave control. We want to know exactly what is happening to us all the time. We want the perfect job, a cool and reliable car, the latest technology, the ideal spouse, and we want them when we want them. Plenty of time is spent considering how to acquire these things. We research purchases online. We envision what that spouse will be like. We search our network for just the right connection to get us ahead. I've spent plenty of time in my life doing research for these things that I desire.

These things are what keep us separate from Jesus. Society tells us that we're responsible for our own successes and failures. We have no one to congratulate or blame but ourselves. Christianity is a difficult concept for us to accept because it goes against this principle. Jesus already has washed us clean with His blood. God sees us through the lens of Jesus and not through the mistakes we've made.

When I attempt to be successful outside of Jesus, I fail. If I somehow do not fail, then I certainly feel an emptiness. That's because God has created us to seek Him. He wants us to live in his strength. He wants us to ask him for the ability to succeed and accept His forgiveness. We live in a society that tells us we must accomplish on our own, when, in fact, we can only accomplish through Christ.