Transition

It has been a pleasure journeying with you all on this blog. When I started this blog in 2008 I was a 23-year-old introducing you all into a transition into post-college adulthood. I have written quite a bit about Pittsburgh, God, Christianity, and simply being a twentysomething in the millennial generation.

Blogging peaked in 2011 as I finished graduate school and moved to Tacoma. It fizzled and all but ended in recent years as I've focused less on blogging and more on people (and tweeting, to be honest). My last post here was about turning 30 and this seems like the right time for a transition.

In short, I'm starting a new blog about living in Tacoma as someone born and raised in Pittsburgh. It's not anything profound; just a sort of ongoing memoir of one person's life experience in one place having been shaped in another. I will halt details here as a synopsis can be found in my first post on the new blog.

Find my new blogging home on Medium. Read the introduction and start following. I hope you enjoy my experiences in Tacoma as much as I do.

(Sports) Seasonal Homesickness

For context, you need to know just a few simple things about me. First, I grew up outside the city of Pittsburgh and, therefore, bleed black and gold. Second, I moved to Tacoma, WA, 20 months ago in September 2011. I've experienced a good bit of homesickness from time-to-time which grows and fades and has been less severe each time it creeps around. Lately, for you statistics nerds, I've realized a positive and direct correlation that explains the cyclical nature of my homesickness. I'll call it SSH, or, Sports Seasonal Homesickness.

This concept may make sense to some and make no sense to others. If you're a sports fan, you know what I'm talking about. I mean a REAL sports fan. One that reads articles in your local paper after games, follows your team's beat writers on Twitter, and watches every game you're capable of watching. Folks from cities like Chicago, Philadelphia, or Boston might know a lot about what I'm talking about.

I have gotten to the point where I can predict when my depression will set in each year. Late December through early February, most of March through early April, early May through early June, and mid-September, or, NFL playoffs, March Madness, MLB Opening Day, NHL playoffs, and the start of NFL/NCAA football season. Thankfully (kinda), the Pirates have never given me much to care about aside from the start of the season, so October is sorta safe.

There's no way around it. It's a simple formula that I am 2500 miles away from the center of my sports fandom. People in the northwest simply don't care about sports as much as the east coast or midwest and that's okay. It stinks, but it's okay. It makes it hard for me to really get into the teams I've followed forever because I don't have as many folks to talk to about the Penguins, Pirates, or Steelers. They like other things and that's cool. I don't love hiking (yet) or dogs (ever) or climbing stuff (dangerous), but I knew that was the culture coming into this chapter of my life. 

The homesickness doesn't come from the teams as much as you'd think, although I do love a good walk down memory lane with Soixante-Six. No, it's the memories tied to them that really hit me. 

With the Penguins, the memories are abundant. Walking into Police Station Pizza on Friday nights with my dad to see the Pens game on a 19-inch color TV sitting on top of the Coca-Cola fridge for the cooks to watch. Recording portions of TV or radio broadcasts on cassette tapes so I can listen again the next day while mom carted me around running errands. Creating our own wooden shooter-tutor for my hockey net so I could re-enact games from the night before. As an adult, creating lifelong friendships over games at the Otto or Redfield residences, remembering that we don't talk during play unless it's to instruct ("PINCH!"). Vowing never to eat Mrs. Malkin's red borscht without beets again because it jinxed a Stanley Cup game against the Red Wings. Drinking nothing but Pabst Blue Ribbon during Game 7 of the Stanley Cup because that was my good luck charm.

For the Pirates, so many memories of trips to see the worst team in baseball for about 40% of my joyrides in my first 2 years of driving. Joking about the oft-forgotten pieces to the longest seasonal losing streak in pro sports history (20 years), such as Jermaine Allensworth, Francisco Cordova, or, my personal favorite, Rob Mackowiak. Playing wiffleball in my backyard with my closest friends picking different eras of Pirates teams to be (with 1992, of course, being the most popular). Spending most summer evenings with the game on the radio or the TV for the last 20 (losing) seasons.

The Steelers are the biggest unifier. My mother does not watch sports, but she surely knows if the Steelers won or lost each week thanks to the mood of my father. Watching games with my dad at Grandma's house. Watching playoff games with friends in high school and putting our jerseys over our faces for each field goal attempt. Yelling obscenities at Ike Taylor. The list goes on.

It doesn't stop there, either. Pitt sports have been a staple in my life the whole time, as well. Going to games at old Pitt stadium after I'd go play video games or mess around with AutoCAD while dad worked overtime at his engineering job. Choosing games against crappy teams like Rutgers or Temple because we knew there'd be tickets available and Pitt might actually win. Shooting hoops in our driveway with my friends to let off steam after Pitt would lose tough games. The good years in the early 2000s when the unthinkable happened and bowl games and March Madness became staples year-in and year-out. Tyler Palko. Larry Fitzgerald. The list goes on again. (re: It's Tough Being a Pitt Fan).

Needless to say, these memories and feelings creep up when each season reaches their pivotal points. I've spent the last 2 years searching for anywhere to watch games at bars or online. Subscribing to MLB.TV because I couldn't imagine a summer without Pirates baseball. Finding a Steelers bar where I could watch games with people who aren't still bitter about a pathetic Super Bowl with the local team. Finally moving into a house (with Canadians, no less) that has cable where I can watch the Penguins. These are necessary evils to maintain sanity in these times of depression.

There's really no way to alleviate this depression. It's something I'll have to live with forever. WebMD says there's no cure aside from moving home, which I don't have any plans to do any time soon. God says I can't go back yet. Thomas Wolfe says you can't go home again, but I don't trust him any further than I can throw him (which probably isn't far because dead bodies are heavy, I hear).

So, every once in a while I'm going to be sad. I'm going to miss entire Saturdays and Sundays spent on the Redfields' couch watching games. I'll miss the assumed case of Yuengling sitting in Jordan's fridge when the Pirates are on 90% of summer nights. I'll miss the no-nonsense attitude of Pittsburgh sports fans and their hate of everything Philadelphia. Until the Lord calls me home (Pittsburgh, not heaven, although they may not be mutually exclusive), I will do whatever it takes to create a pocket of my life for the black and gold (or blue and gold) to give my sanity some relief every January, March, June, September, and each month in between.

It's not just sports. It's the only life I've known.

Let's go Pens.

Let's go Bucs.

Here we go Steelers.

Hail to Pitt.

Being Who We Were Created To Be

I'm not going to lie, friends. Life has been a struggle the last month or so. I'm at a constant internal conflict over so many things and rarely feel like I get a chance to let it all hang out. There was a time in my life when I was an open book; saying the things I thought without much restraint and doing whatever felt right at the time without much thought. Following my emotions got me into some good situations (packing my car and moving to Washington) and into some difficult situations (packing my car and moving to Washington).

To be frank, I've lost my edge and kept my mouth shut far too much as I've settled into the passive Washington state of mind and it's driving me nuts. I haven't verbally processed things much because I am so tired at the end of the day that I don't want to talk about anything of significance with anyone. Besides, how am I supposed to tell my community that I feel like I'm lacking community or my girlfriend from Washington about the things I don't like about Washington without feeling like some judgmental self-righteous know-it-all prick? I don't know. Maybe there's no way.

Here's the thing, though: these things are true. I miss the community I had in Pittsburgh (where I spent the first 26 years of my life, of course) and there are plenty of things that annoy me about Washington (balanced with cool things like the current immaculate weather and general presence of bodies of water).

I've been a verbal processor all my life and need to embrace who I am. I talk when I think. I have opinions and like to share them. Sometimes I'm right and sometimes I'm wrong. It's who I've been made to be.

When I first moved here, the first thing I made sure people knew about me is that I'm from Pittsburgh. I bleed black and gold and always will. It probably annoyed people how much I talked about Pittsburgh; what life was like there, how we did things, how great the Steelers/Pirates/Penguins are. I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not. It's who I am and always will be.

A few months ago, a friend of mine pointed out something incredibly significant in my life. We were talking about how people in Biblical times worshiped idols, how we still do that today, and how those idols tend to be our identity instead of Jesus. When talking about what it was that we identified with instead of Jesus, I jokingly/seriously said Pittsburgh. My friend Ashley pointed out a few weeks later in another conversation that Pittsburgh definitely is an idol for me. 

It's the gold standard of what a place could be in my eyes. The ethnic communities founded by Italians, Germans, Irish, etc. The unified black and gold colors of every team. The healthy balance of a low cost of living with a big city arts scene. The way that small ideas like the Saxifrage School (which I spent a few months helping to plan) can get big-time recognition in the Wall Street Journal (as well as the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette; recognize the skyline in that Death Cab shirt on the left?). 

I've kept my eyes on Pittsburgh instead of Jesus when choosing how to do anything in my life. Instead of focusing on the community around me in Tacoma, I'd always think about the community in Pittsburgh that I left behind. 

For the last few months since that conversation, I've shifted. I've been living more in the world around me and investing in the community I have here. Here's the problem, though: Pittsburgh is still and always will be who I am. The decisions I make, the way I see the world, how I interact with people; it's all Pittsburgh. No matter where I am, I'll always be a yinzer. I'll always want to watch a Steelers game instead of going to church. I'll always pine for Yuengling no matter what amazing craft beers are nearby. I will always seek hard-nosed, genuine people and music who don't give a shit about holding back who they are for any reason.

I've been slipping slowly into the lukewarm passivity of the northwest as a result of not being true to myself. While I don't find any fault or problem in addressing the fact that Pittsburgh has been an idol of mine, I'm learning that it's also important to not remove it from my identity. I owe it to the city that raised me.

So what does this mean for my life and the Kingdom of God? Hopefully it means going back to being a genuine, outspoken, community-focused individual. When I lived in Pittsburgh, I was always the person rallying people together for parties and gatherings. While I don't have a killer back deck for these gatherings anymore, that doesn't mean I can't still be a party-starter. Bringing people together has always been a gift of mine and I'm doing the Kingdom a disservice by keeping to myself.

It means going back to being the dry, witty, sarcastic individual who's hard to read if you're not familiar with me. I'd be sorry for being this way, but I'm not sorry. I used to make people laugh. Sometimes at other people's or my own expense. Worrying so much about my own image or the over-sensitivity of others has never been much of a concern until I moved here, so it's time to go back to my old ways. It's who I was made to be.

2012 Pittsburgh Pirates, At-a-Glance

For the superstitious one still existing in my brain, I'm hoping a different home for me means a different result for my beloved Pittsburgh Pirates.

Opening Day is certainly still a holiday for Pittsburghers without any particular reason why. The team has been bad for years and doesn't seem to be turning the corner hard enough to think this year will be significantly different. The difference this year? They know what it feels like. A division lead in July was a real thing last year. One friend of mine suggested he'd buy my plane ticket home for the NLCS if the Bucs got there. Those sort of conversations were really happening last summer. Pittsburgh reminded the league that they're a baseball town. I'm no expert, but let me get into my thoughts on this season.

You could easily consult Joe Starkey or Dejan Kovacevic to reference the stats, the scores, the streak, the reasons why the Pirates will or won't succeed this year. That's not really my gig. However, I will consult some facts. The Pirates have a superstar in Andrew McCutchen. He's a strong defensive CF with some power and a lot of speed. He's young and becoming more disciplined. That could be said of several other important players, like Alex Presley, Jose Tabata, and Neil Walker. Those four together give Pirates fans hope of an entertaining day at the ballpark every day.

Pitching? It was a lot better last year. Karstens, McDonald, Correia and Morton showed some promise that showed their potential. Add the injury-prone Erik Bedard and the currently-injured AJ Burnett and the Pirates rotation has some more depth and promise than it has had in recent memory. I've been one to suggest the Pirates have needed a veteran, like Burnett, to join the team with some experience in winning (World Series with the Yankees), so his leadership in that rotation should show as the year goes on. The bullpen is also pretty talented, led by Joel Hanrahan.

So there are some things that are promising. I won't pull out the numbers because I just don't have time, but I'll say the Pirates will flirt with .500 this year. I don't see them breaking it yet, but if some things fall into place, like Pedro Alvarez erasing his abysmal Spring Training or AJ Burnett regaining his top-of-the-rotation form in a low-pressure environment, then they could easily compete with a weaker NL Central. The 1997 Freak Show Pirates didn't have as much promise as this team and they came close to breaking the streak (79-83, 5 GB in the divison). With that in mind, anything can happen. Let's go Bucs.

Autumn Weekends, or, It's Hard Being a Pitt Fan

My sister just had her first article for the Post-Gazette published this morning! It's about growing up as a die-hard Pitt fan, which is not terribly common. You can read the article here:

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/11295/1183853-109.stm

This article about autumnal Pitt gamedays reminds me of my own youth; growing up 12-16 years behind my siblings, yet still raised as a Pitt fan. When Sue was in college and I was progressing through elementary school, they sucked. It was not fun to walk into school and talk to my friends who were Penn State fans about that weekends games. Penn State usually won, Pitt usually lost, and that was about it.

I vividly remember the days I would be running around the backyard playing football when I'd get called in for the second half of the Pitt games. I remember trying to go to games against Temple or Rutgers because those were the only games Pitt might win. One of my favorite memories was Halloween Thursday night, 1996, when I came home from trick-or-treating to find the best treat of the night: Pitt on ESPN! They beat Boston College that night for their third win in a four-win season. That same season, my brother took a trip to the Horseshoe at Ohio State to see the Buckeyes trounce Pitt 72-0.

I also remember the rise. Pitt had been bad the whole time I'd been a fan growing, so when a bowl game became a real possibility in 1997, it was something to talk about. After starting 2-1, Pitt upset the once-mighty Miami Hurricanes on Thursday night ESPN, resulting in some torn-down goalposts at Pitt Stadium, if I remember correctly. That season they needed two overtimes to beat Rutgers and two wins against perennial powers, Virginia Tech and West Virginia, to become bowl-eligible. They upset the Hokies, then turned around and upset West Virginia in a three-overtime game that I remember vividly. WVU kicked a field goal in the third overtime. Pete Gonzalez converted a 4th-and-17 to Jake Hofart keep the drive alive before another 4th down conversion to Terry Murphy for the win and bowl-eligibility.

Since then, it's been an up-and-down ride filled with higher expectations. A win in the last game at Pitt Stadium against hated rival Notre Dame, a blocked field goal attempt by LaVar Arrington to preserve a loss at Penn State, Walt Harris' Wide Receiver U putting players into the upper echelon of the NCAA and into the NFL, beating rival Penn State, 12-0, in their last meeting, Pitt garnering national attention, and ultimate under-performance by teams we expected more from over the years.

My memory has blurred a bit since my childhood. I've seen so many games on TV and in-person as a student that I am starting to forget details. I remember seeing some amazing things in person, like most of Larry Fitzgerald's catches, QB Tyler Palko (my favorite Pitt player of all time) running over a Boston College safety, and, of course, Aliquippa alumnus Darrelle Revis' silly punt return against West Virginia. Most importantly, I remember the day Pitt kept West Virginia out of the national championship game in a fluke win at my least favorite place in the world Mountaineer Field.

At the end of the day, sports are sports. They're nothing more and nothing less. Everything was magnified when I was a child, so I remember those events like they happened yesterday. I look forward to the day that I'm raising my kids in Pittsburgh, playing football in the backyard until it's time to come in for kickoff. I miss Pittsburgh today for that reason and for the reason that people honestly care about their sports in the Steel City.

No offense, Seattle, but your sports fans are lame and flaky. Watch your Huskies today, but know that you wouldn't care if they were 3-4 like my Panthers. Hail to Pitt!

When the Story Ends

Moving to the Northwest has been a dream of mine, for any of you who have not been following my blog the last few years. It has been the goal for so long. It's been a dream I've had in my head since I first visited Seattle two years ago. This summer's job search gave me the opportunity to move here as I'd been hoping for. The dream would be realized. Pack up the necessities in Marie Antoinette and hit the road heading west until the road ran out.

So I did it.

Now what?

That's been the question. I've been reading through my favorite book again, "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Don Miller. In one of the chapters, Don mentions the idea that we rarely think about: what happens to the characters when the story is over? We all know about John Cusack holding the stereo in the girl's yard, or Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan on the top of the Empire State Building, or Rudy making those unlikely tackles in his first-and-only playing time for Notre Dame. But what happens next? People don't live happily ever after because there is always a new goal, a new challenge, a new endeavor to navigate. I'm starting to learn what it really means for this to be the start of a new chapter rather than the end of a story.

This move has been the toughest thing I've ever done. Some days I wake up with debilitating homesickness that makes it difficult to function normally and enjoy my day. Some days I don't, though, and I thank God for those days. Things will get better, but for now I'm still just handling the homesickness day-to-day.

The most difficult part of this move has absolutely been finding community. It's not that I'm struggling to meet people or find places where community is, but it's just that I'm struggling with not having any support system in place here for me to rely on as I venture out for new places to call home. I don't have that one go-to friend to talk to about everything. I'm still finding ways to get my emotions out and feel refreshed. It's been a real struggle to lay in bed at times and process my thoughts by myself because sometimes it's hard to talk to anyone about them, even if they know what I'm going through.

Things are getting better, though. This weekend I spent time with some people who made me feel like they are genuinely happy to have me here. I do have a need to feel appreciated and I think the last 48 hours have made me feel that way consistently for the first time since I left Pittsburgh.

This is a journey. The past month has been an amazing journey that I'll never forget. Yesterday was a journey. Today is a journey. Tomorrow is a journey. Every day we learn new things about ourselves and others. Each day we get more comfortable than the last. One day soon Tacoma will start to feel a bit like home. 

No matter when that is, I know that I need to take advantage of the opportunities I have while I'm here. I want to go to shows weekly. I want (need) to start a band and play a shows around the Sea-Tac area. I may even want to live in Seattle for a year before my time here is done. Until then, though, I am living in Tacoma, finding community, and filling the voids that have been left from my move. I'm also creating new experiences that would not happen in Pittsburgh.

At the end of the day, God has placed me as a tree in a story about a forest. The story is ongoing and purposeful. There is a reason for me to be in Tacoma right now and it doesn't have as much to do with me as I'd like it to. I'm just a tree in a story about a forest.

Day 5 - Bozeman, MT

Let me start tonight's post by explaining that I cannot adequately describe the beauty I've seen in this country. Every state is more beautiful than the last.  This drive has been absolutely surreal and I feel so blessed for having the opportunity to cross this country by car.

I woke up this morning in South Dakota and began my trek toward Big Sky country.  It is amazing how distinct each state really is.  As soon as I crossed over from South Dakota into Wyoming, it was a clear change from the rolling green hills to the wild west.  Wyoming was full of pastures and open space for roaming purposes.  Going along with the "small world" theme, I had lunch with a friend (Hannah) of a friend (Jeremy) of a friend (Kallie) in Sheridan, WY.  

As I've described, it's been amazing to see real people living real lives in these locations that I've only heard about.  While I was hoping that Hannah lived in a little 500-person town off the beaten path, Sheridan was a big oasis of a town in a vast western expanse.

As I said previously, each state is better than the last.  Last night, my favorite state was South Dakota.  Tonight's new favorite is Montana.  Pictures and words cannot accurately explain how vast the sky is in Montana.  Imagine being able to see in every direction for 10 miles, then imagine what that clear blue sky looks like above.  At one point I recall seeing a wall of clouds with clear sky to the right that looked like a literal sea.  I crept over the hill to see this ocean of sky, wondering what body of water was approaching.

I remember reading an article that my friend, Dave Mesing, posted a while ago about the experience one has in a town when they ride a bike versus driving.  When you drive, you simply enter your vessel at one end and emerge at your destination.  You see the things in between, but they just seem like scenery on your way.  

The same can be said for traveling across the country in a car versus a plane.  If I would have flown from Pittsburgh to Tacoma, I'd have been there a few days ago and would have missed an immense collection of beauty that cannot be described in this post.  Driving through Ohio, Indiana, Wisconsin, Minnesota, South Dakota, Wyoming, and Montana has given a face to these locations.  I've interacted with people who live in these places and learned that life happens here.  People grew up here, worked here, lived here. 

I arrived in Bozeman, MT, tonight with some daylight and a desire for a coffeeshop, dinner, and a beer.  Bozeman is an awesome little college town, hosting Montana State University.  As I rolled up to the coffee shop (Wild Joe's Organic Coffee and Tea), I was immediately asked if I had a doobie to spare.  Sad to say, I didn't.  I guess if you roll up to an organic coffeeshop with your life packed in a Honda Civic and a bike strapped to the back, you can expect to be asked about having pot.

I had dinner and a couple beers at the Montana Ale Works, which was a cool ale house with some good food and a packed house.  The beer selection was fantastic, including mostly local Montana brews.  Dinner and beers were great and I rounded out the night with an old friend; Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Tomorrow I have a place to stay at Gonzaga in Spokane, WA, so I've got about 6 hours of driving tomorrow before 5 more on Monday to arrive in Tacoma.  I'm so thankful for safety and smooth sailing so far.  Thanks for your prayers and I look forward to another enjoyable trek tomorrow. 

Before I call it a night, let me try to explain how valuable a GPS, smart phone, and good stereo are on a cross-country roadtrip.  I don't know where I'd be or even how much I'd be able to handle this trip if it weren't for these modern amenities.

I leave you with this tonight: These places are real.  I've driven through the documentaries.  You absolutely must see this country.

Day 2 - Milwaukee

Day Two was more of a physical challenge than the first, for sure.  I was on the road for much longer; about 7 instead of 3.  Today's journey had me saying farewell to the Prats girls and heading towards Indianapolis before venturing north through Chicago and into Milwaukee to visit Jeremy and Jamie Ault, who have recently moved here for Jeremy to start his fellowship with Marquette.

I didn't hit the road as early as I should have, but thank goodness that I didn't account for Central time because I got an extra hour and took time to stop for lunch at Bub's north of Indianapolis.  This place was featured on Man vs Food on the Travel Channel for their burgers, so I had a quarter pounder and it was delicious!  The seasoning was fantastic and medium rare was certainly the proper temperature for their juicy burgers.  They provided group games at each table for entertainment and offered a picture on the wall to anyone who ate the Big Ugly one-pound burger.  It was touristy, but I'm a tourist, so lay off.

Indiana kinda sucks.  It's bigger than you'd think and pretty stinking boring.  The most interesting part, however, was a sea of windmills.  I'd have to estimate close to 1000 windmills in a 10 mile stretch.

Thank goodness for audiobooks.  I was listening to On the Road by Jack Kerouac for most of the trip today. As I began to approach Chicago, I listened to my favorite Chicago band; Fall Out Boy.  I went through their whole discography, which kept me alert because I was wailing every note right along with Patrick.

Arriving in Milwaukee was a nice result.  It's great to see familiar faces.  Jeremy, Jamie, and I rode bikes around the city to dinner and had some beers.  My favorite cheap beer, Pabst Blue Ribbon, is a local product so I had to have one.


Nothing too insightful today, unfortunately.  I'm pretty tired and hoping that my body holds up.  I will say that it's been a blessing to have places to say and to possibly have a connect in Montana so I may only need to get one hotel on the whole trip.  Also, I mentioned my desire to Skype to Lindsay and she gave me a web cam that Mike got for her and didn't work on her computer!  One less thing I will need when I get to Tacoma.  Thank God for these simple blessings.


Minneapolis tomorrow!  Maybe stopping in Eau Claire, WI, on the way to say hi to Justin Vernon.

Day 1 - Columbus

It feels like I'm entering a period of intense blogging, so brace yourself!  Today was Day One of my cross-country trip from Pittsburgh to Tacoma.  My first leg was a short trip from Beaver County to Columbus to visit Mike, Lindsay, and June Prats.  

Although Mike and Lindsay had to get to bed early, it was nice to spend some time with these close friends and relax before a longer day of driving tomorrow en route to Milwaukee.  Lindsay cooked us a delicious dinner of chicken, brussel sprouts, and corn on the cob, which was a forgotten bonus about staying with friends along the way!

It was hard to leave everyone today and I get emotional when I see pictures taken at my parents' house because I get nostalgic.  Life is progressing, though, and I wasn't going to stay in Pittsburgh forever.  I'm thankful that I have felt 100% peace about my choice to take this job at UW Tacoma and start a new chapter.

I think this week will be an enjoyable adventure at times, but my lengthy periods of time on my own will produce a lot of idle thinking time.  I need to take advantage of these times and pray, pray, pray.  Savoring this trip is important because life will restart upon arrival in Washington.

The Avett Brothers kept me company on the road today.  It seemed appropriate for my visit with the Pratses, who are both big fans.

Check out my blog from earlier today, prior to the road to Ohio: Heading West

Heading West

This afternoon I begin my trek west.  I'm sitting on the porch at Beaver Falls Coffee and Tea with some of my closest friends from Beaver County.  It's a surreal experience.  So surreal that it really doesn't feel like I'm leaving.  Today, it feels like I'm just about to take a little drive to Columbus to visit friends.  Tomorrow will just feel like a trip to Milwaukee.  I don't think the reality will set in for at least a week that I'm really going to live in Tacoma, WA, and not Pennsylvania.

That's something interesting I've discovered about life while approaching this day.  When I talk about being nervous about leaving or being sad about not getting to stay, friends would encourage me that I'll be back to visit and I can return for a new job in a few years.  I used to think that that fact was still a big deal and that three years was a significant amount of time.  It still is significant, but I think I'm beginning to realize that life will go on, I'll keep in touch with friends and visit for vacations.  When I come home, life will resume.  If I move back to Pittsburgh in 3, 5, or 10 years, I'll return to a different set of people, but a life as similar as I choose to make it.

The big difference will be that I'll have an amazing experience under my belt.  This move will be the hardest thing I've done to this point.  I've lived in the Pittsburgh area for 26 years and now I'm venturing out to a new place with very little familiar places.  This will be a growing experience that is completely necessary for me to become the man God's created me to be.

I recognized recently that I need to leave Pittsburgh at some point and try something new.  It is clear that this chapter in Pittsburgh is coming to an appropriate end.  People are transitioning into new lives and settling into new situations, so it's time for me to do the same.  I'm ready to potentially be a pioneer for friends who want to join me in the Pacific Northwest.  Or maybe I'm ready to start a new life on my own.  Or maybe I need to just get away from PA for a while to recapture its mystery in my heart.

No matter what the case, God is sending me to Tacoma for a reason.  I'm excited to see what that reason is.  I've got a few ideas.

What will you miss?

I've been asked a pair of questions recently that make a lot of sense for someone in my position.  My friend, Josh, asked if I have a Pittsburgh bucket list of things I'd like to do or places I'd like to go before I move to Tacoma.  My other friend, Lisa, asked what I will miss most about Pittsburgh.  I don't have a bucket list nor will I miss any one thing in particular.  While the answers to these questions naturally differ, they are fundamentally driven by the same idea: the thing I love about Pittsburgh is my friends and family.

Sure, there are places and things about Pittsburgh that I will miss.  Primanti Bros, the incline, all of our sports teams, Hough's, and of course Suncrest Camp.  But in the end, my memories are of people.  I don't do many things by myself because I like to enjoy experiences with others.  The coffeeshops, the dive bars, the restaurants; these things exist everywhere, but it's the people I'll miss.

I won't miss Ambridge, PA, but I'll definitely miss Sunday morning breakfast with my family.

I won't miss Silky's and their too-expensive-to-go-on-weekends prices, but I'll miss shuffleboard, darts, and late nights out front with good friends.

I won't miss Schenley Park disc golf, but I'll miss those intentional conversations with Jordan, Dustin, or Greg.

I may not miss my room, but I'll miss living with great friends and the potential for jam sessions with anyone who's lived here.

I may not miss Tazza D'oro or Commonplace, but I'll miss the mornings spent there with Robby.

I may not miss Suncrest Camp itself, the 50 year old mattresses, the constantly uncomfortable weather, or the most forgiving rims in basketball history, but I will miss every camper, counselor, musician, and director I've spent time with over the past 10 years.

For me, life has always been about experiences and who you spend them with.  When I shed tears on my journey, it will not be a result of places or things I've left behind, but for people I hope to encounter again.

Answers

Two years ago I visited my friends Jenn and Ron in Seattle for a week before I started graduate school.  I fell in love with the city and the Pacific Northwest.  Upon starting school I decided that I would move to Seattle when I finished school.

Two years later, I will be moving to Tacoma, WA.

I accepted a job at the University of Washington Tacoma yesterday and will start in early September.  My job search process has been a test of patience and faith from day one.  I have grown and understood God's plan in a more serious way that I ever expected!  Throughout the process I had plenty of exciting job opportunities come and go.  I even turned down two very good opportunities that simply were shown to me as positions that were not good fits for me.  It was difficult to watch my cohort of graduates move on to their new positions and to hear many professionals question my decision to turn down jobs, but in the end my faith in God's plan has resulted in the opportunity that excited me more than any other!  I've debated several different locations, only to land in my number one choice in the end.  While it's not exactly Seattle, it's very close, a more manageable size, and a more affordable location that will be a much better fit for my first city after Pittsburgh.

Without getting into much detail, I am very excited for the entire opportunity.  The position, Student Services Specialist with a focus on Career Development and Education, is an exciting and versatile position that will give me plenty of opportunity to develop career services at UWT as well as develop me as a young professional.  My colleagues are a young and exciting group that I feel like I'll look forward to working with every day!

Much more will come as I blog about my last month in Pittsburgh, my week-or-so-long roadtrip across the country, and the next chapter in Tacoma, so I look forward to sharing this journey with you!  Thanks for your prayers and support.

Faith

I have faith.  More than I realized.  You really learn how much faith you have when you take a "leap of faith" and make a risky move.  In my job search, I've had two campus interviews for jobs so far, been offered both jobs, and turned them both down.  They were not good fits.  The locations were not appealing and the work was not what I've been looking for.  The people were fantastic and I hope our paths cross again, but in the end it was a strong feeling of comfort when I turned the jobs down.

So I'm crazy right?  Well, maybe I am.  The fact is, though, that whether I should or not, I'm waiting for a good fit to take a job, even in this rough job market.  Sure, I'm young and have my whole life in front of me, but I'm not the type of person who will sacrifice a good place and good friends for what seems like a lateral or downward movement.  Give me community and I'll go.  Give me an amazing city (ahem, Seattle) and I'll go.  I'm young and single with what feels like the world in front of me.  I guess I'm just not as willing to sacrifice as I should be.

But that's how God created me.  He wants me to live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment, not sacrificing a second.  I felt so overwhelmingly comfortable turning down each position that I did not question for a second whether it was the right move.  I have an awesome community in Pittsburgh, Beaver County, and Philadelphia that I'll only leave for an exciting opportunity.  But have no fear, employers, I am committed to only applying to jobs in exciting locations from now on!

In the meantime, I continue to pray.  I'm praying for the right opportunity to come at the right time.  I'm praying that I can soak up every second I have in Pittsburgh in case God leads me to a new location.  In the end, all we have is today, so enjoy it.

Also, enjoy this jam about Faith by Taking Back Sunday:

The Saxifrage School

The Saxifrage School was featured in the Sunday edition of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette on June 5, 2011.  You can read the article here.

Basically, the Saxifrage School is the brainchild of a friend of mine, Tim Cook, who I met at Banjo Night at the Elks Club on the North Side in the summer of 2010. After telling Tim that I was studying Higher Education Management, he told me his idea for a stripped-down, bare essentials college that would be committed to developing a student's real-life skills.  Being a very recent student myself, this struck me as a project that I wanted to contribute to, so I have been serving on the initial planning team since February.

As Tim has learned, along with the rest of us, starting a college is not simple, but our fearless leader has committed himself in a way that is inspirational.  We don't need to be encouraged to power through to make the project possible; it is already beyond possible.  This school will happen, it's just a matter of making sure this project is the strongest project we can create.

As the PG article describes, students will learn things like how to grow their own food or do house construction while reading literature, mastering Spanish, and living in community with a neighborhood of Pittsburgh.  Here's the basic idea: a valuable, low-cost college education.  As described on the School's homepage, the goal is to have dual-majors in an "academic" and a "technical" field and Spanish fluency for 400 students.  (Read more ideas about academics here)  The School plans to have 40 instructors whose salaries will be paid by a vast majority of the incoming tuition dollars.  The Saxifrage School will operate with a nomadic campus with one or two administrative buildings while hosting classes in underutilized community spaces such as churches and bars.  Students will rent living space in the community and work part-time jobs alongside their neighbors. The frills of student affairs will be cut down (or completely) as needed.  This conservation of resources will result in an education-and-community based model that will cost students only $5000 in tuition.

Academically, the dual-majors will be a combination of two fields; one academic and one technical.  The academic field choices are World Literature and Writing, International Systems, and Religion and Philosophy while the technical fields are Organic Agriculture, Computer Science, and Building Design and Construction.  Students will have the opportunity to expand their intellectual horizons while learning practical skills that can be applied every day at home and the workplace.

The uphill battle is still ahead.  Four teams have been developed to focus on the academics, fundraising, logistics, and community for the School.  Between now and the anticipated opening in 2014, the Saxifrage School will choose a community in which to start, develop relationships with their neighbors, recruit instructors and students, develop academic programs, and raise a couple million dollars, among other items on the check-list.

A buzz is developing in the city of Pittsburgh, though, with special thanks to the Mattress Factory who has provided a complimentary headquarters for the Saxifrage School to use through at least mid-June in the old Firewaters location across from PNC Park.  The General Will, as it's now called, has hosted a couple concerts combined with community conversations, a pair of shantyboating classes (the second of which is this Thursday), and will host an open IPO (Initial Public Offering) Party that is FREE to the public and scheduled for this Sunday, June 12 at 7pm.  For more information on this party, check the Facebook event here.

This is the project in a nutshell.  It's an exciting project being discussed by a group of young people who care about the future of education and Pittsburgh.  Who knows how long I will be able to continue being a part of this project in Pittsburgh, but I'm thankful to have been here at the beginning and hope to contribute in any way I can, wherever I end up!

You can also read more about the Saxifrage School at our website.

You can also follow our Facebook and Twitter accounts.

Start of Unemployment

My extreme extroversion feels like the death of me at work the last couple weeks.  Things are slowing down mightily at work as students finish up classes and head home for the summer, so I return home every day completely drained of energy because my little back office with no windows in the basement of the UC at CMU is keeping me from any social interaction and driving me nuts!

I need some interaction, so how about you comment some answers to these questions?

What is some music I NEED to listen to today?

At the moment, I'm jamming a stream of the new Manchester Orchestra album (out yesterday) as well as Arcade Fire's performance at Coachella.  These two bands are reminding me how much I need to create music, but I need some energy and inspiration first.  I want to start a band so badly, but have no idea where I will live at the end of the summer, so it's virtually pointless to try at the moment.  That will be one of my first endeavors in my new (or old) city!


What are some cool (cheap) things I should do while I'm unemployed for a while?

Tennis, painting, playing music, disc golf, cooking, and reading are already on the list.  Give me some other ideas!  I'll be poor, so the cheaper the better.  I'm about to be unemployed for a yet-to-be-determined amount of time, so I could use some simple or elaborate ideas to utilize in Pittsburgh.

What makes you impatient?

My attention deficit is not designed for long periods of idleness, so my patience is being challenged by my lack of tasks in front of me as well as my job and future uncertainty on many levels.  I know that I need to put my need for patience in God's hands or I'll continue down a slippery slope of insanity due to lack of stimuli.

J'eet review at EatPGH

I wrote a review of J'eet in Bloomfield on the eatPGH website.  Check it out here!

Blog Spotlight: eatPGH

I want to start a semi-regular spotlight on the many blogs that I keep up with. Many of my friends are entertaining and talented, so I read a lot of my friends' blogs about everything from Trader Joe's to running (even though I don't run, per say).

An activity that I do partake in, though, is eating. Waiting tables and watching food shows like Top Chef has given me a deep appreciation for good food. Whether that food is gourmet like on TV or your standard burger done right, I love it all!

The girls at eatPGH feel the same way, which is what's drawn me to their writing! My friend, Laura Zorch, is one of the four main contributors to this blog started a couple years ago. Born out of a love for eating out and cooking in, these ladies have been writing about recipes and restaurants all over Pittsburgh.

They have no agenda besides informing Pittsburgh of what they enjoy, so you know that what you see is what you get on this page. When they say that the salmon at Willow is amazing, believe it. Or when they tell you that Burgh'ers in Harmony is worth the hour-long drive, then plan for a long evening out.

Check it out. Snoop around. The restaurants are divided by geographic location, so it's easy to navigate and find some spots in your neighborhood. I particularly enjoy the 99 Things to Eat in Pittsburgh Before You Die post.

Female Lead Singers

Lately I've been really into indie bands with female vocalists. I used to strongly prefer male vocalists, but bands like Gold Motel, Turning Violet Violet (Philly) Big Hurry, and Sleep Experiments (the latter two from Pittsburgh) have been tugging at my heart strings lately. There is a certain combination of sensuality, compassion, and emotion that naturally shines through on female vocals. And, let's be honest, females have much prettier voices than the nicest male vocalist.

The girls in these and other bands add a sense of innocent fun to the mix. The tracks give that light-hearted, soft, beautiful feeling when these ladies sing with their heart. Having these women leading the charge makes you feel lot less like it's a boy's club that they're a part of. Without them, these bands wouldn't exist. The strength in hearing their words coming from their mouths instead of a male vocalist gives you that "independent woman" sense that Beyonce brought along, only in a more behind-the-scenes "I don't need to say I'm an independent woman to be independent" sort of way.

My favorite, and biggest crush in music, is Emily Moore, who also plays for the band fun.. Check her Myspace. My favorite track is "Tough Luck". Jack is sweet and Ginger's lookin' mighty fine...

Who is your favorite band with a female lead vocalist?

Inspiration

My inspiration has been drained lately. Sitting in front of a computer with or without a guitar, I find myself struggling to create beauty. Observations run rampant through my blogs and songwriting has become a memory. The spark has been absent, in my opinion. My writing has been based on fact and not invention.

School has drained me. School and the job search. I don't feel exhausted like I expected, but I certainly do not spend an extra minute to channel my creativity and take advantage of my free time like I have in the past. I have to force myself to pick up the guitar. Reading for pleasure has fallen far, far away, even on my lunch breaks.

It's time to get out the big guns. Time to stop in every used bookstore I can find until I locate the first piece of fiction that got me excited to write; Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut. The language, the interweaving story, the tongue-in-cheek satire. This is what writing is all about!

Time for me to get it, read it, and remember what's important about writing. Academic papers will get you grades. Creative writing will channel emotion.

What or who is your biggest inspiration?

Some Monday Thoughts

I haven't written anything in here for a week, so I thought it was time. Maybe I'll elaborate on these things soon, but here's what's on my mind today.

Academia
Life has been a series of to-do lists lately, without an end very near. This mostly happens because I have to do weekly responses for readings in three classes every week, so once the weekend ends it is back to the grind. I don't worry about grades much anymore because I feel like I have as much of an understanding of higher education as Pitt will teach me in the classroom, so it's just a matter of applying the new knowledge to what I already know and writing papers about it. It's not that I'm some master of higher education knowledge, it's just that the work is so neverending right now that I can't afford to dwell very much.

What have you been learning lately?

Job Searching
Most of my learning about the world is coming from work and the job search. I've been stressing about resumes and cover letters so much that it's making it seem like it doesn't matter whether I can actually excel at a job or not. It's more a matter of convincing someone through written and spoken word that I can do it. Applying and interviewing for jobs is an odd skill that we all must master in order to land that first job. I don't like playing "the game" and try to stick to my genuine guns when I apply, so hopefully that will get me as far as I need to go.

What's been your favorite job so far?

Sports
The Steelers lost the Super Bowl last night. This would have been a demoralizing event a few years ago when my happiness was dictated by the success of my favorite teams, but fortunately I've found some other meaning in life so things have carried on. Or maybe it's because the Steelers have six Super Bowls, so I can live with a loss here and there. Now it's time to build up my hopes for Pitt basketball just in time to have my soul crushed in March, again.

What team determines your happiness/sadness most?

Tunes
Today I stumbled upon a few sets of tunes I haven't listened to in a while. Nine Black Alps are a British band I listened to when I DJed for WPTS a few years ago. Your standard British alt-rock quartet (I think?) that plays some dirty rock and roll. I rediscovered my love for Matt Pond PA and The Shins as homework-music, too. New Strokes album next month, which should be worth looking forward to.

Listen to an album today that you haven't spun in a while!

Faith
I've been negative about a lot of things lately, so God's challenged me to knock it off. This world isn't about me and what I want. I'm here to bring people together to worship God and thank Him for Jesus Christ, but I've let my selfish thoughts get in the way. Time to act like I'm following God's lead, not just saying it.

Has God been telling you anything that you didn't want to hear?

Carpe Diem
Three months until graduation. No idea where I'll end up, but I'm excited to find out. Chances are I'll stay in Pittsburgh, but incredible opportunities in Boston, Portland, Seattle, or Philadelphia could pull me in a new direction. No matter where I end up, I need to take advantage of the days I have in Pittsburgh. I've been talking with my friend, Alicia, who is graduating from Boston College this semester, and we agree that we need to do exciting things in our respective towns before a possible departure, or at least life change. It's been refreshing to make sure I do something out-of-the-ordinary and take advantage of Pittsburgh while I'm here.

Give me ideas for cool things to do in Pittsburgh before I leave. (You know, a Pittsburgh bucket list)